One and the Same
by Shin Sankai
Summary: Shinji/Rei Story. My very first. Rei's POV as she listens to Shinji cry...and finally she's not so Rei-like and tries to comfort the Pilot of Unit 01.


Couples Mentioned: Rei & Shinji 

Story Started: 10th August 2003

Authors Notes: Konnichiwa Minna-san! This little one-shot story may stink, but please give it a go as this will be my very first Neon Genesis Evangelion story. I clearly overindulge in writing a lot of Rurouni Kenshin Stories I believe. 

I'm probably way out of character, but oh well, I just like the idea of Rei and Shinji better then Asuka and Shinji. That's my own personal opinion so don't get shirty with me if you happen to disagree.

Oh yes, this is in Rei's POV so if she is OOC well dammit! She's rather hard to get in character, but I wanted her to be a bit more talkative and seem a bit more open with Shinji. One thing if you're going to ask me which Rei it is, I have no clue myself. In truth I lost my interest in Evangelion a long time ago, but I needed to write up a one-shot of Rei and Shinji together because I do think they are cute together! (^_^) 

On another note before you start reading this I'll just have to dedicate this story to my dear Dan-chan! ^_~ Don't you just love it when I call you that Dan-chan? He's a real big Shinji fan! He might not be with Asuka in this ficcie, but ah well. I'm sure you'd be happy about that ne Dan-chan? ^_~

I hope its okay…

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One and the Same

I heard it again…that familiar sound of someone crying. Even if I never knew that feeling myself, I knew exactly what it meant. Pain, suffering, anguish, sadness and most of all loneliness. I am sure I have felt all of those, but yet I was different, for I never shed a single tear…not like he was doing right now.

It was Pilot Ikari of Eva Unit 01. He was the one crying. We were both in the locker rooms, having come back from an Angel attack and yet he did not notice I was still in here, still changing back into my school uniform. I looked around the corner as my locker was away from Ikari's and noticed Pilot Sohryu of Eva Unit 02 was not around. Perhaps she had been the one to make him cry. If it wasn't her then it was the Commander, but it weren't him then it would have to be somebody else that made Ikari feel like he was nothing. No one seemed to understand Ikari…no one but myself.

Yes, I do believe I understand him perfectly. I also understand what goes on in and around NERV Headquarters. I may be called 'doll' or 'wondergirl' but I watch, I listen and I read up on situations if they become confusing to me at first. I teach myself what others express that I do not. Yes, to them I am not normal, but then, what is classified as normal? I stop my continuous thoughts as I button the last of my white school shirt closed. I can still hear the crying of Pilot Ikari. As I peer around the corner once more I see him sitting alone on the bench, his locker open, but he was still dressed in his plug suit. The only difference was that his sync plugs are not present in his brown hair. The next thing I comprehend myself doing is walking towards Ikari still only dressed in my school skirt and top. He does not notice me, but I move around the bench and sit beside him. I surprise even myself when I lift my arms and drape them over Ikari's shoulders, pulling him towards me and allowing his head to lean against my chest.

"Wha? Aya-Ayanami…" This is all so new to me…and yet the way Ikari was I just knew that what I had done was the correct decision. I notice Ikari is not able to place two syllables together to make any sense because he is too embarrassed right now. I recognise this from the redness in his cheeks and recall it as being a blush. Something one feels when they are either embarrassed or pleased at actions or words from another person. It is strange that one little emotion can mean two different things. I can feel that my own cheeks have become a blush like Ikari's and yet my feeling is different form his. Ikari's is embarrassment and yet I think mine is pleasure. Do I like holding Pilot Ikari?

"Sometimes it is alright to cry in the presence of others Ikari, especially ones who might understand you. This feeling you are having right now does not make you stupid like I have heard Pilot Sohryu call you. It is okay to be different from others." I had no idea where these words were coming from, but I felt they were right to be voiced to Ikari at his present emotional state. It was as though in some subconscious way in my own being I felt that the Commanders son needed my help. I had let instinct take over and every shudder that racked through Ikari's body, my arms grew tighter as I pulled him closer into my embrace. This was so very new to me…perhaps even to Ikari and this unknown feeling inside me grew and finally I knew what it was. Compassion for Ikari. I wanted Ikari to feel safe with me. 

"Aya-Ayanami, you're being too kind to me…" That was odd, why did he say that to me? I did not respond for I did not understand what Ikari was saying. When I felt him shift slightly, I let go and silently watched him brush the last of his tears away. He was so different from Pilot Sohryu…I was so different from Pilot Sohryu. 

I finally stood up when I watched Ikari get his emotions under control. I did not say a single word…he did not say a single word and instead I moved back to my locker to place on my socks and shoes and grab my school bag. I headed for the door and placed my hand on the knob. Out of the corner of my right eye I watched Ikari stand up, his lips parting as he finally spoke to me.

"Ayanami, why…why did you comfort me like that?"

"Because no one else was here but me." I answered back instantly and observed a confused look crossing his face. It was as though he wanted another answer and I was amazed I still had something else to voice to his question.

"Because no one will understand like I do."

"You…understand?" He questioned slowly, his head titling down so I could not see his blue eyes. 

"Ikari, people like you who think they have no one in the world to depend on need to open there eyes and look around."

"Huh?" I knew I never made sense to many people, but I at least thought Ikari would understand me a bit more.

"You are not alone Ikari. There are many that care for you in some way…even if they do not voice it aloud. You have people around you like Suzuhara and Aida they are your friends are they not? You also have the Major as well. I'm not sure if Pilot Sohryu worries for you, but the Major, Suzuhara and Aida surely do." It seemed Ikari cried a lot…and liked being alone a lot as well. I know I was always alone, but maybe in some way these words could help have an effect on Ikari to assure him that people care for him. 

"What about you Ayanami, surely you aren't alone as well?" I heard him question me. I silently looked over at the Commanders son and wondered just what power lies within him. He was so different from the commander…so much nicer it seemed. I was sure only I, the Commander and Dr Akagi knew of the hidden power Ikari had within him. He was the strongest or all of us…even if the sync tests did not show this at times. I knew someday soon, it would be up to him to see where the final battle took us. His emotions would crack throughout the days of Angel attacks so perhaps it was best that I tell him people cared for his well being. I now wondered whether I cared for Ikari's well being.

"What matters is you Ikari, not myself. It does not matter what I think, for I know I am being used." Where were these words coming from? Why was I openly talking to Ikari like this?

"And so am I!" He voiced loudly to me, his hand fisting in anger.

"Then we are one and the same." I watch his eyes dart towards my own as he silently stared at me…through me. He seemed to be looking for some sort of explanation, but I had none to give. I didn't even know where that came from within me, but I knew it was right. We hid our true emotions from everyone but each other…well I did anyway, but Ikari seemed to shed many, but allowed only me to comfort him rather then Pilot Sohryu or the Major or his friends.

"One and the same…?" I heard Pilot Ikari mumble softly to himself. Was he trying to understand my words again? I was quite shocked, although it did not register on my face when his head lifted up, a rare smile crossing his face as he looked over at me. In an instant he was changed into his school uniform and then Ikari was standing beside me at the door.

"Arigatoo Rei!" I could feel the heat in my cheeks' rise to a temperature, which was not good at all. He had called me Rei. What was this feeling inside of me now? Ikari was smiling at me, just for me and I looked down at our joined hands. He was holding my hands…

"I finally found someone like me!" I did not know what to say to this and instead I lifted my eyes to search his. 

"If you're ever alone or need to depend on someone Rei, then you can come to me anytime. You can depend on me and I'll depend on you just like you said okay?" Before I could even answer he had left me in the locker room by myself, having gone who knows where. My hand lifted up to brush over my right cheek where Ikari had placed his lips. I hadn't done anything to deserve such a remark from him had I? 

I left the change rooms and headed for the elevator to head on home. I felt warm all over, as though Ikari had done this to me. Had I made him feel warm as well? Was that why he had kissed me? I would definitely have to read up on this, but now my mind was finally set on one emotion that I would stand by even if the Commander questioned me…protect Shinji Ikari…for as long as I could no matter the consequences.

The End

Story Finished: 10th August 2003


End file.
